Sunday, August 28, 2011

Mind: Blown


Ok. So I love Lady Gaga. I think she's pretty damn brilliant. She has some talent that one. I've just had my mind blown by her twice in the last 6 hours. First by this:



Yeah. Country. Fuck Yeah Gaga.

Then by this:






Whoa. That's her by the way. In case you didn't know. The dude, the one on top of the piano getting wasted? Yeah. And still country. I'm feeling so confused and thrilled all at the same time. (BTW: She's totally hot as a guy.)



Friday, August 26, 2011

Harry Potter Sticks

So, yesterday I found a Harry Potter wand. I'll admit that it's a little long, but I'm pretty sure it could "stupify" an elephant. Of course I picked it up and carried it home, using it as a strut cane through the worst neighborhoods along 27th and San Pablo (in Oakland, you gotta look tough, and carry a big stick.) I was prepared to whoop some butt, if it got too close.

What I really wanted to do with this post is tell the story of my amazing day Wednesday, since yesterday was just ok, I mean, outside of finding a Harry Potter stick. (And yes, I went from an exciting day to a day where finding a stick was the highlight of my day)

Wednesday started off with a dog walk. I would just like to take this moment to say I hate dog leashes. Dogs like to sniff things, people like to get places with out stopping. Leashes do not equal fun for either party in this equation.

I had a job interview that went really well, and then had some amazing sushi in celebration, and from there, went to Berkeley to hang out with some people I hadn't hung out with in a while.

We went to Venus where one of them works, and by the way, Venus is lovely and the head chef Kevin is a super nice guy. They also make beautiful cocktails. Well, specifically, Lauren, who is one of the servers there and happens to be my friend, makes beautiful cocktails. On our walk back to the Ashby heaven that is James and Lauren's apartment, we were gently accosted by a small quiet asian girl, asking for donations for world peace. Yes. Give a dollar for world peace. None of us had any cash on us, so we politely declined. As we walked, she followed us, and ended up coming across one of the addicts that sells the addict newspaper for a dollar on the street. In a serendipitous moment, they happened to ask each other for a dollar at the same time. It was picture worthy, and is still making me giggle.

After the Tahoe crew drank lots of whiskey, and I took over the kitchen to make dinner, and many things were discussed on the porch, (including near dead languages, obscure middle eastern countries, and other things I don't necessarily remember) we retired to the dining room to play a Russian card game called Durok (and of course in Russian it's spelled differently), and it was fun, and complicated, and really hard, and did I mention fun? Because it was. Then somehow I ended up on an air mattress in the empty room of the neighbor's house to sleep. The next morning we took a breakfast walk, hustled me to my JFK session, and finally the finding of the Harry Potter stick before taking a shower and a nap.

So what's the point? The law of attraction, if you must know. Because for a minute there, it felt like I was just manifesting all the things I wanted in life, coziness, food, Tahoe friends, ice cream. All I had to do was mention it and like magic it was there. I wasted at least one of my manifests on ice cream. So what happened yesterday? Yesterday I did not get hired. Though really in the grand scheme of things, maybe manifesting ice cream is not the same as manifesting a job offer.

Not that this is all that different from the rest of my days this summer. I've spent an entire summer not getting hired! Only this time, my references got called, and said they gave me good reviews, but still, I did not get hired.

Law of attraction says I want something more than these jobs. Or, perhaps that something wants me more than these jobs do. Logic (at least mine) follows that this must be mutual. If that's the case than the mutual pull is warping the universe and keeping me really poor. And I wish I knew what that something was. Suspense and me don't get along very well. Dear something! Reveal yourself to me!

(Here is where I was going to insert a hand drawn picture by me, of the universe warping, but it turned out very poor and nothing like what I had envisioned. Instead I give you this:)

(image was found on Quest.)


I think the G on the left is the mystery something, and the g on the right is me? That's how I'm choosing to interpret this. Regardless, I'm no closer today than I was yesterday to figuring out what that "something" is. I see my role in this whole law of attraction thing as the choice maker. I choose where to apply, each being something I would like to do or am qualified to do, in places I would like to live. The universe decides which one of these places is right for me. In the mean time, all my money exists somewhere between the up vector and the down vector. Or something. Either way it's not in my pocket. Or my wallet. Or my bank account.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My Recipe for Happy

Spend time at the ocean, so you remember that you are small and wild
Spend time in the mountains, so that you remember that you are strong, and that life is short.
Spend time with people who truly love you, they will help you heal.
Avoid people who judge you.
Spend time with people who annoy you, you will learn patience and remember how to laugh
Create things, even if the seams are uneven, the paint is gloopy, and your instrument is not in tune.
Cook for yourself and others.
Hug people tight. A limp hug is as bad as a limp handshake.
Tell people what helps.
Cry, when you need to, but don't let it drown you.
Laugh when you feel like it, and laugh loud and hard.
Look people in the eyes, even if it is scary.
Tell people you love them, tell them you'll miss them when they are leaving.
Write love letters.
Indulge in quiet moments.
Indulge in loud moments.
Dance and sing, a lot.
Sleep outside.
Exercise.
Make time to read books.
Hang a hammock, and use it.


What is your recipe for happy?

Saturday, August 20, 2011

No Plans, Only Ideas

Hold your body strong against these winds of life.




I had a rough morning. So the news is this: Tahoe called me back and said "Not this season...I don't think." The catch is that if someone drops out or doesn't come, or they need an extra hand around the place, there might be space for me. Fingers crossed, but conflict rages in my bones from not wanting my friend to have to stress about someone not showing up, and having my home back. Mostly, in truth, I want to go home. Neither of my parents think I should be here. I don't want to say goodbye, but I know I need to if I'm going to survive.

In the mean time I'm looking outward with my sights on other places. Point Reyes, Big Sur are both in my sights, a spot in Texas is on my radar, and two outdoor schools in Big Bear and Santa Barbara have programs I'm interested in, respectively. I've also put my name on the crew list for the Baja Ha Ha to get down to Mexico and stay mid peninsula January through March... There's piles of paper work to be filled and a severe lack of funds to make this happen, but I could call upon some magic.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Food, I Miss You.

So I'm not usually a double poster, or at least I haven't been so far, but seeing as how my mouth hurts so bad that I've had nothing but ice cream, yogurt, and water the last two days, (after a painful attempt to chew some bread last night) I'm feeling pretty inspired by food. My stomach rumbles agreement.

First, a salad brought to my attention via faceybook: Spinach, walnuts, goat cheese, blue berries, honey, olive oil, and salt. Holy moly. Spinach, walnuts, goat cheese and strawberries, dressed with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and a crank or two of pepper is one of my personal favorite salads, so I'm eager to try this version with blue berries, and dressed with honey (one of my most favorite things in life is a good honey). My mouth is watering thinking about it, and it's not because of the hole in my gums from my removed tooth. (photo from Emily's Kitchen, where you can also find a recipe for this salad.)




Second, a cast iron skillet pizza. I've often wondered if this would work, and it turns out, Chicago style pizzas are made in cast iron pans. We have a pizzeria here in the Bay Area by the name of Zachary's (worker owned) which makes the most delicious and filling Chicago Style pizzas ever created on land. As their website says, over 150 awards have been given to them for their pizza. It's that good. Loads of Mozza and other toppings, topped with a tasty tomato sauce and a sprinkle of basil, really, it's heaven, if a little on the expensive side. But it's so worth it. (photo from Biggestmenu.com)

So, I've decided to have a dinner night for a couple of friends when my tooth is better, making a cast iron skillet pizza and this spinach salad. Who wants to be the lucky friends? (Sorry Vegans, I'm going for full on real cheese for this one.)

On Being a Loud Creature

Someone told me a while back that when I sing loudly in social situations it bothers other people. This was not a nice thing to say, especially since I had revealed to this person that I'd been having panic attacks this year, and he knew I'd been having trouble working with music this year. I ended up deciding that generally, I don't think it's true and that I trust people to tell me to shut up if I'm making them unhappy with my music.

The other thing is that I've decided to own my loudness. It's a part of who I am, and something that came as a direct result of that loudness is Bike Party, and that is far more powerful than one person telling me I'm annoying for being too loud. I'm wicked proud of Bike Party, it has it's faults, but the east bay has not seen anything it's equal and it's changing this town. Critical Mass in Berkeley only ever reached a couple hundred people, and we had over 500 riders the last few months. It's something special and I am not sure it would have the same vibe if I wasn't obnoxiously outgoing and loud about it.

Now, this part of the blog has nothing to do really about being loud, but I want to post it anyways. About two months ago I had listened to some music by an artist by the name of Ben Howard, a surfer from the UK gone to music, along the lines of Jack Johnson, but with that perpetual UK foggy feel to his work. I didn't give it much thought, I think I liked it but didn't really explore it much more than listening to the one song. Today there's a video going around of Danny Macaskill riding around an abandoned industrial complex:



He uses Ben Howard's song, The Wolves, which is just lovely. So I wandered around YouTube watching the best of his videos, and needless to say, I'm kind of in love. Here, you listen. It's reminding me of Big Sur.






Friday, August 12, 2011

The Laughing Heart

By Charles Bukowski


your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

Tom Waits reading it:


Spiders Guarding Buffalo (Utah)












Monday, August 8, 2011

Late Music

Gah, it's been an incredible month. I was completely inspired in July and wrote several songs! Yay!

So, the first thing about this music blog, is that not all of this is going to be YouTubed this time around. I'm going to provide a couple of links that you should click on and make an effort to listen to if you have a chance.

Then you'll also get the YouTube playlist. One of the videos is actually worth watching, it's pretty amazing and really fun, and if you have google chrome, it's interactive. Interactive music video? Sweet.

So, on to the music.

1. Clay Nightingale: San Marcos, Texas. My Texan friends have a bus. They are in a band called Aquarena Springs. They went on Tour and let me hitch a ride down to San Diego with them. At some point these three songs played, and I fell in love. I've been obsessing over them ever since.

http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/3394816

2. Adam Balbo is the sweetest man who writes funny songs in all of the Bay Area. Worth listening to. There was a backyard show that I played at by surprise and it was the second or third time I had played with him. I figure it's time to plug him. :)

3. The youtube list:

a) Trombone Shorty: Hurricane Season. This is something that Teddie Honey posted one morning that I just loved.
b) OK Go: All is not lost. This video is like whoa, and the song is really good. Use Google Chrome and check out the google chrome site. It's interactive!
c) A Lull: Some Love. I found this on a music blog, and it's just techno enough, just howly enough, and just damn good. Plus not too many people know of them. Plug!
d) Grimes: Heartbeats. I found this on the same blog that I found A Lull (DayTrotter) and was completely blown away by it. Completely. Like jaw dropped, hand on forehead blown away. Transformative, dreamy and just all around gorgeous, and she does it all herself. It would be worth your time to check out more of her stuff.
e) Rilo Kiley: With Arms Outstretched. I love Jenny Lewis. End of story. This is an oldie (if you consider 2009 old) but a goody.
f) Frightened Rabbit: Swim Until You Can't See Land. A last minute add, introduced to me by a dear friend from Tahoe in Salt Lake, I'm really digging this English band with a strong accent.